Solitude.

I stand alone
Cold, shivering
Left to wither in this cold, dying world
So alone,
The emptiness
Eating me inside out
The silence
How shrill it has become

You were the only one
I gave you my heart
The one I fell before
And I opened my heart for you
For you to peer in,
For you to love
For you to caress

But you grabbed a handful
And tore
Ripped
Slaughtered

I lay on the floor
A hole through my chest
Sliced open
Dripping bloody red
Droplets on my cheek
Tears or blood

Tick toc tick toc
Gone gone gone

.

Maybe it's better this way.

In My Fading Memory

In my fading memory
I see your warm smile
Bright as morning
Sweet as honey
In the dim light
I see it
Radiating
And twinkle
Under the night sky

In my fading memory
I feel your touch
Gentle like feathers
Light as gossamer
Your fingertips
Trail across my skin
Over my lips
Brush my cheeks

In my fading memory
I see your tears
Roll down your red,
Beautiful
Soft
Cheeks
And as they fall
Your outstretched hands
Reach towards me the very last time

In my fading memory
Your everything
Is gone.

You and I

I've neatly put away all the memories of you and I,
All stored in order in a small cardboard box,
And slid into the corner of my closet,
Beginning to gather dust.
I've put a lock on the cardboard box,
One that has to be opened with a key.
I threw the key down the drain,
Never to be found again.

I've buried the memories of you and I,
All shoved into a small glass jar,
Dropped into a dug hole,
And covered up with dirt and soil.
Seasons come and seasons go,
I've forgotten where it was buried.
The flower that used to mark its spot,
Dead now, leaves no trace.

I've burnt the memories of you and I,
Throwing them into a fire,
Watching them shrivel,
Turn black and into dust.
No way was there to retrieve,
No way was there to stop.
All of it gone,
Dust and ashes.

I've cried all the memories of you and I,
My tears falling stream by stream,
Mixing with the pouring rain,
Silent in its sanctuary.
Down they fall onto the ground,
Soaked up by the grass and land.
And it was then that I asked,
Did the tears belong to me or the sky?

I've forgotten all the memories of you and I,
The ones where we laughed,
The ones where we cried,
The ones where we loved.
I've pushed them all into a far away place,
For no one to find.
And my mind is blank,
As I wave goodbye.


I've neatly put away all the memories of you and I.

The way to gather a crowd - inspired by Rascal Flatt's Why

I'm wondering why, on this sunny, cloudless day, why are we all gathered here dressed in black? And why, why are we listening to people who can barely gasp a breath between their tears to try to talk about someone who they love deeply? And why is this the way you decided to gather the crowd for one last time?

And as I try to blink away the tears, I raise my head to look up at the blue, blue sky. Why, oh why, did you leave the stage in the middle of a song?

Standing at the podium, I face the crowd that you've gathered. I remember the kinds of crowd you used to gather - the ones that would cheer at your games, the ones that would support you till the very last minute. But look what's in front of me now. They're supposed to be gathered here for you, and not listen to other people talk about you and cry and blubber as they try to push their way through their incoherent speeches. And as I try to do the same thing, I see all our memories flash in front of my eyes - your smile, your voice, your smell, your touch. I feel myself grab onto the edges of the podium, the only thing linking me to reality as I hear myself ask over and over again why oh why oh why.