I have once...

Don't kiss me baby
We can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have
Spent so many
Nights thinking of you
Longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

As I'm sitting here, typing away, I'm wondering if I should stay and wait or move on. If this was just another joke you were going to pull on me. If I can trust you all over again. And as much as I try to pull myself away, disengage myself, you keep making me come back for more. But oh it hurts, it hurts to know that we can never be, because you're on the other side of the world. I want to be with you though, so dearly. I want to crawl onto your lap and snuggle under your chin and fall asleep with your arms around me. I don't know how many nights I've spent, staring at the ceiling, imagining. Imagining what would've been, and what could've been, what might've been. The time when I loved you so dearly and close to my heart, and the feeling I have for you now - a maze, a knot, a struggle. So if you'd be so kind and tell me if it's worth waiting...

I've onced loved you

So, so much.

Remember me

Some verses from Iron & Wine's Trapeze Swinger

Please, remember me
Happily
The time when
We counted every black car passing
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of G-d and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers

...and somehow I knew.

How I needed you
How I grieve now you're gone
In my dreams I see you
I awake so alone

I could hear my heart pounding
Silently, harshly, against my chest
And in the death of the night
I thought I saw you beside my bed

I know you didn't want to leave
Your heart yearned to stay
But the strength I always loved in you
Finally gave way

And as I watched you go
Slip away from between my fingers
I saw the door to your heart
Closing shut

Somehow I knew you would leave me this way
Somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
And my being

Now my insides are hollow
You've dug through my heart
Yanked it out
And threw it to the floor

In my dreams I can see you
I can tell you how I feel
In my dreams I can hold you
And it feels so real

But when I awake
The illusion fades
One side of the bed is made and cold
As I try to hold onto my dreams

I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love

And God how it hurts
To see your smile fade away
Your smell and touch and warmth
Leave me day by day

And somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And somehow I knew you would leave me
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
Oh I wish, I wish you could have stayed